This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize