Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
