My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you will always have a special place in my vag
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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