oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
