Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
