You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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