I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I could fuck to npr.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
