Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
