I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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