If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
