Small penises have feelings too.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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