you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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