This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
