It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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