She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
