I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you never un-have a 4some
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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