I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
