And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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