I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
