I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I want her autograph on my taint
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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