We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
