operation harelip BJ is a go
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
