i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
