...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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