i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
thus making me awesome and them whores
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
the raccoons are back...
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