Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
