Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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