Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
