I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
