1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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