I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
