i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
