TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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