I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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