I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
