I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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