I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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