Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
