nut hugger
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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