I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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