I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
