you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drake has all the answers
You should frame my arrest warrant.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
