Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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