I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
