I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
