Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
