She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
