420 ftw
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
