It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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