Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I smell stomach acid.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
