Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
