There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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