I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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