is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
