He asked to "fluff my boner.."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
