just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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