i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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