Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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