why didn't you poke me back
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
