It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
