What a fucking waste of an outfit
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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