last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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