i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
